Gynecological Surgery is the Scariest Thing Ever, and the Best Thing Ever.

I can sit, I can walk, I can stand, and I could probably even do a cartwheel if I had the energy.  After battling a nasty Bartholin Gland Cyst for the past week, Monday night I found myself in an operating room, absolutely terrified.
I went ahead with the surgery, and in the end, I’m absolutely glad I did.

I'm outta here.

As they prepped me for surgery, every medical intervention–the iv, the medical history questionnaires, the pills & injections, the leg-squeezing-blood-clot-preventer-thingys, the electrodes on my chest, the urinalysis–added a layer to my agitation.

There were moments when I almost stripped it all off and left, resigning myself to the long-term pain of the cyst rather than enduring the super foreign idea of surgery.  I was absolutely sure that I wasn’t going to wake up from the anesthesia (like on all of the asinine doctor shows I watch) and that my amazing daughter would have to grow up without a mommy.

And evidently, that fear wasn’t so crazy.  While I was under the inhaled anesthesia, my throat began to close, so the anesthesiologist tried to insert a small tube to provide me with an airway.  But when he tried, my throat began to spasm, and he had to go ahead and use the big giant tube they use for intubating people.  You know, the kind they use to save people when they’re dying.  The big, rough, scary kind.

My throat hurts.

But although my throat hurts, and although I spent the night after surgery throwing up and itching like crazy, the bottom line is that my hoo-ha doesn’t hurt anymore.  The surgery was super successful, and my vagina will be eternally grateful.

And the best part?  I survived, and my beautiful daughter will grow up with a mommy afterall.  She was waiting for me outside the recovery room, and held my hand as we wheeled to the car.

Despite my adverse reaction to the anesthesia, despite the massive nausea, and despite the $3,000 out-of-pocket bill, this surgery was an awesome experience–that I hope I never have to go through again.