This gallery contains 6 photos.
I’m usually not too into Halloween, but this year there’s been a plethora of birthy creativity going on at pumpkin carving time. Check out some of these fantastic creations: Thanks to each of these families and artists for … Continue reading
This morning, I sang the happy birthday song to my daughter as we hung out in bed in the early morning sunshine. Three years ago today, she was born–but that’s not all that happened that day. I also gave birth.
Three years ago yesterday...
I became a mother. I brought life. I contorted my body in ways I never imagined. I asked things of myself I had never conceived of. I became a part of my very own family.
I had an experience–a birth experience–that will forever be ingrained in my mind, and that will inform my life choices and my self image and my personal reality every day for the rest of my life.
So today, August 29, is not just little Ramona’s birthday. It’s also my Birth Day.
...and 3 years ago today.
In the photos above, I am two different people. They were taken only hours apart, but those hours were filled with intensity and depth and things I can’t explain. And I can say the same about the past three years.
So when I see mama-friends of mine celebrating their kiddos’ birthdays on Facebook, I make sure to wish them a happy Birth Day (or Birthiversary) as well. I think I subconsciously hope that acknowledging them as mamas in this way will provoke them to celebrate themselves, to reflect on their time as mamas, to honor their role and their evolution in the time since birthing their babe.
Do you do anything special for yourself on the anniversary of your giving birth? What’s most striking to you about looking back on your Birth Days?
I came across this belly on Flickr earlier this month, and I’m enamored. I have no idea who this person is, how many babies are inside that tight skin, or what her birth experience was like. But I know that I love her stretch marks, her veins, her belly button, and her little one’s foot…or elbow, or knee, or whatever that is. I don’t have any humor, analysis, or commentary here–just an intense, beautiful belly to enjoy & appreciate.
Tagged big pregnant belly, Daquella manera, photo, photos, picture, pictures, pregnancy, stomach
Tucked inside the new issue of SQUAT Birth Journal #5 is my latest article “We Are Not All Women: Midwives, Doulas & the Gender of Birth Work.” The article shares the experiences of a transgender midwifery student, and a male midwife who’s been practicing for 30+ years.
The article attempts to challenge our assumptions about the gender identities of birth workers, and to explore the estrogen-rich environment that is the birth world.
Here’s an excerpt from my interview with Kennedy Rollins,* a transgender midwifery student:
“Considering his experience of feeling alienated in the birth community, Kennedy wonders what effect his gender identity will have on his ability to serve birthing families. “As someone who really wants to prioritize being accessible to people, and being able to be a competent care provider, how am I potentially restricting myself by transitioning?”
There will undoubtedly be families who are not interested in having a transgendered midwife as their care provider. “I know that I would reach more people if I appeared to be female,” Kennedy admits. But at the same time, there are also birthing families who embrace gender diversity as an element of the vibrant world around us, or who are themselves gender-non-conforming. For these families, Kennedy and the handful of other publicly transgender doulas, midwives, and student midwives may be the ideal care providers.”
* A pseudonym has been used in this article to protect the privacy of the person being interviewed.
As a doula, I knew what I was up against when my homebirth turned into a hospital transfer. To make things even worse, the on-call OB happened to be a Resident who had sent three of my birth doula clients to “emergency” c-sections that were absolutely not emergencies.
This photo and caption ran in the LA Times in April, and reminded me of why I'm so scared of ending up with a c-section.
When she walked in, we both recognized each other, and I was terrified.
Sometimes I look back and wonder why her presence made me so scared. I am a powerful woman with a strong will and a lot of information. So why be scared?
Because of articles like this one: C-Sections are a Major Factor in Pregnancy-Related Deaths, Report Finds, published last month by the LA Times.
And because of pictures like the one here, which ran with the LA Times article. I have a daughter just as young, innocent and beautiful as Matt Logelin’s, and I don’t want her to end up without a mother.
No, I’ve never known anyone who’s died from having a caesarean, or from any pregnancy-related complication, for that matter. But the fear and the increased likelihood of something scary is still there, whether or not maternal mortality has ever touched my life.
So when that knife-happy, on-call OB walked into my room, it wasn’t her or her reputation or her bedside manner that scared me. It was her judgment. Her judgment that had resulted in at least three unnecessary c-sections in my presence. Her judgment that thought that 12 hours was too long to be in labor and was dangerous for the baby. Her judgment that placed moms under general anesthesia because they were emotionally distraught over their ‘emergency’ caesarean.
What terrified me was knowing that this OB didn’t take seriously that C-Sections are a Major Factor in Pregnancy-Related Deaths.
Posted in Birth, Birth Activism, Doula
When I spoke with Barbara Harper last week, she casually mentioned that one hospital in Miami-Dade County has a 73% overall caesaerean rate. Uhmm, excuse me?
71% of Births are C-Sections at Kendall Regional Medical Center in Miami - Photo by Grendellion
I’m originally from Miami, and my partner and I flirt with the idea of moving our family back there one day. So when I imagine being pregnant again, back home in the tropical circus that is South Florida, I keep getting a visual image of 73% flashing across my daydreams. So I called Kendall Regional Medical Center.
The first nurse I spoke with was sincerely confused by my question about their caesarean rate. She tried to explain to me what a c-section was, and eventually referred me to another nurse.
This second nurse explained that the hospital doesn’t actually have a caesarean rate, but rather the individual doctors do. Absurd. She also made sure to point out that, “Anywhere you go in Miami is going to be a high c-section rate.” Awesome.
After persisting a bit about the hospital’s percentage of c-sections, nurse #2 admitted, “We know our doctors here who are quick to cut, and some who aren’t.” She stated that some care providers at the hospital have individual rates of 5%, whereas some are 20%. While I appreciated her effort to give me an answer, it didn’t jive at all with Barbara Harper’s mention of 73% or The Unnecessarean‘s published 2008 statistic of 71%. Continue reading
Posted in Birth, Birth Activism, Homebirth, Midwifery
As I reflect on the fact that today marks two years since the murder of Dr. George Tiller, I’m proud of what we’ve done in that time. In the two years since women lost access to the abortion care Tiller provided, we’ve gained something else entirely–something that I think Dr. Tiller would be proud of, too.
What we’ve gained is the role of the abortion doula, and the immense momentum surrounding this movement.
There have always been pro-choice doulas. And there have always been pregnant women in need of compassionate support for their abortions. Now, finally, there are abortion doulas, who extend their compassion and skills into the abortion experience.
As a doula, I’m committed to women’s choices in pregnancy–where and how they give birth, who attends their birth, AND whether or not they give birth at all. Dr. George Tiller was a physician who acknowledged these inextricable links between birth and abortion. He understood the importance of access to the full spectrum of reproductive health care, and was one of the few brave folks in this country willing to risk his life to provide these critical services.
So today, while I’ve watched hundreds of pro-choice doula friends Tweeting and Facebooking in memory of Dr. Tiller, I’ve been reminded that his work has continued on, just in a different form. Thank you to Dr. Tiller, and to every abortion doula and full spectrum doula, and to every other abortion service provider, for being so brave.
The seized birthing tubs have now theoretically been returned to their owners, but this fight is far from over. Barbara Harper, author of Gentle Birth Choices and founder of Waterbirth International, outlined the situation to me this morning.
Is this birth tub a piece of medical equipment? Photo by BirtherSage
Two of the four major U.S. distributors of birth tubs have recently received warning letters from the FDA, thus halting their sales and shipments. A shipping container of birth tubs was temporarily held at U.S. Customs in Portland, OR earlier this week, and underwent FDA inspection before being released to the distributors.
But Barbara says the FDA made it clear that even though the distributors were allowed to take their shipments to their own warehouses, the FDA is still in control of the property. She says their attitude was, ‘We own it. You can’t sell it, you can’t ship it.’ They came in, inspected and counted the birth tubs, and left with a ‘We’ll be back.’
An Attack on Birth Choices?
The public response to this story seems to have been either along the lines of ‘This is one more battle in the government’s war on water birth and birth choices in general,’ or ‘The FDA is just doing their jobs trying to protect birthing women from harm.’ Perhaps the reality is somewhere in the middle.
“If there is an effort to take away water birth,” Barbara explains, “We have to enlist the hospital midwives and obstetricians. It’s not just about home birth,” since many hospitals are allowing water births these days, with some even using portable, inflatable birthing tubs such as the ones seized in this FDA fiasco.
If this situation truly turns out to be about eliminating water birth as a choice for pregnant women, Barbara adds, “How long do you think it’s going to be before they put yellow caution tape on every hospital bathtub?” Continue reading
Posted in Birth, Birth Activism, Doula, Homebirth, Midwifery
Tagged aquaborn, barbara harper, birthing, birthing tubs, childbirth, fda, freedom of choice in birth, home birth, Homebirth, Midwifery, midwives, news article, oregon, pool, pools, portland, recall, seized, seizes, seizing, tub, water birth, waterbirth
According to Barbara Harper, author of Gentle Birth Choices and founder of Waterbirth International, the FDA has seized a shipping container of AquaBorn birthing pools at a dock in Portland, Oregon, and have ordered agents to “inspect and destroy.”
“They claim they are unregistered medical equipment, but they are not providing a way or means to get them registered. In other words, if the medical authorities can’t stop waterbirth, then just have the FDA take away the birth pools,” she explains in a lengthy discussion that began yesterday.
While birth pools are imported to Canada under the category “paddling pools” and some are imported here in the U.S. under the category “sitz baths,” they have no legal standing as medical equipment at this time.
Is this birth tub a piece of medical equipment?
But why would they? They are often purchased or rented for personal use in private homes. Barbara’s conversation with an FDA official may shed some light on this as a clash of perspectives. She explains that she was told, “Pregnancy is an illness and birth is a medical event. Therefore, a pool that a woman gives birth in should be classified as medical equipment.” So what about our toilets, our bathtubs, our showers? Kiddie pools, horse troughs, hot tubs? Oh, and what about the fact that pregnancy is *not* an illness?
What the FDA Wants
Martha Blackmore Althouse, owner and manager of Waterbirth Solutions in Beaverton, Oregon, has been interacting with attorneys and the FDA on the issue. She explains:
The FDA is requiring a 510(k) – PreMarket Authorization – to be turned in for each Inflatable Birth Pool. The problem is that there is no Pre-existing Medical Device – “Predicate” – already approved by the FDA. Hence, potential of years of clinical trials and legal fees that can cost up to a million or more. Continue reading
Susannah and her husband spent months planning & preparing for a homebirth. they hired a homebirth midwife, hired me as their doula, took natural childbirth classes, ordered a birth kit, and got their house ready for the birth and the baby. then, in her third trimester, the almighty dollar sign reared its ugly head, and they realized that their homebirth would be financially impossible.
if they went to the hospital to give birth, Susannah’s health insurance would pay all of the $10,000+ bill, whereas a homebirth would be less expensive ($3,000) but they’d have to pay the entire bill themselves. Susannah grieved the loss of her fantasy homebirth, but had to quickly move on and embrace a new fantasy of the perfect hospital birth with homebirth-style care.
when her baby’s birth-day finally came, Susannah’s fantasy came true. she labored beautifully at home late into the night, until transition, often the most difficult part of labor. most women rush themselves frantically to the hospital long before this advanced stage of labor, but instead Susannah and her mother and i sat quietly in the darkness of her home, massaging and reassuring and hydrating and timing, for hours as her body prepared her to meet her baby.
it was beautiful to watch her disappear inside her mind with each surge of pressure & pain, and then re-awaken to our voices as the contraction passed. Susannah’s mother held her tightly, loving being needed, and Susannah loving being cared for. we created a quiet, calm, and safe space for the mother inside Susannah to begin to emerge, and we waited. Continue reading
Posted in Birth, Birth Stories, Doula, Homebirth, Midwifery, Placenta Medicine
Angelina Leeks started MyDoulaDirectory.info–a listing of free and low-cost doula services–because she believes that “every woman should be able to have a doula regardless of economic status.” I spoke with her this week about the site’s success and what you & I can do to spread the word.
Angie expected the website to take a while to catch on. But instead it “took off like a wildfire!” and currently offers listings for 71 doulas or organizations in 23 U.S. states and 1 Canadian province. Over 2,000 birthing families have searched MyDoulaDirectory.info so far this year, looking for a free or low-cost doula.
Angie says she’s “constantly working with families who want a doula and can’t find one either because of the cost, their rural location or simply because they don’t know if a doula would be comfortable with their special circumstances (adoptions, surrogacy, unwed, alternative lifestyles, sexual orientation, etc.).” It seems that this directory is one step forward toward filling the socio-economic gaps in pregnancy support, and an opportunity to bring the doula community closer to a full spectrum model of support.
For some families, connecting with a doula they can afford makes all the difference in their birth experience. ”I’ve found families to be especially grateful and appreciative. Most are experiencing a doula for the first time, while others wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Hear that? MyDoulaDirectory.info is spreading the word about doulas. So what can you & I do to spread the word about this fantastic resource? ”Tell everyone you know – Continue reading
There are four exciting opportunities to participate in research on the full spectrum & radical doula movements! Each of these studies presents a chance to spread the word about the value of doula support throughout the whole spectrum of pregnancy outcomes.
I, like the vast majority of North American birth junkies, have fantasized a time or two about meeting Ina May Gaskin. In the fantasies, we would hit it off (duh!), become best buddies, and my life would become a whirlwind of midwifery excitement.
So when she walked into the hotel lobby during registration for the MANA Conference in October, I was pretty starstruck. I went through an entire mental process around being in the same room with her as she walked past. And then she was gone.
So I’m standing in line at the registration desk, I turn around, and…she hasn’t left the room afterall! Ina May Gaskin is standing directly behind me in line.
Naturally, I put out my hand and said, “I hate to be one more person doing this, but it’s really hard to stand in line beside you and not introduce myself. I’m Laurel.” She smiled perfectly politely, in that grandmotherly, scholarly, ultimately wise way she has, and shook my hand and said, “Nice to meet you.”
And that’s all we said. I then proceeded to awkwardly stand there in silence for another 15 minutes. I had Ina May Gaskin’s undivided attention for 15 minutes, and blew it.
Not that 15 minutes is really enough time to imprint myself in her mind in any concrete way. Then again, maybe it could’ve been. Maybe, if I didn’t freeze up and waste an enormous opportunity, we could have communicated and connected.
We could’ve had a conversation about my passion for the right to safe, affordable abortion services…except for the fact that she’s ardently anti-choice, from what I hear.
I could’ve thanked her for her pioneering work and talked about the value and necessity of her voice in the birth world…except for the fact that I’m sure she’s heard it all before.
What do you say to someone like that? To someone who fills the role of culture hero to so many birthworkers? She doesn’t need to know that I’ve read all her books, or that I’m inspired by her story, or that it’s my dream to give safe, affordable, compassionate care to even just a fraction of the women she’s served in her life.
What do you say to someone like that? You say, “…it’s really hard to stand in line beside you and not introduce myself. I’m Laurel.” Then you shake her hand, stand there awkwardly for 15 minutes, and remember it for the rest of your life.
I recently had a doula client for whom sticking things in her vagina was a very foreign idea. No tampons, diva cups, keepers, or masturbation. So when I explained the potential benefits of Evening Primrose Oil capsules for ripening the cervix, she was hesitant.
Oenothera biennis - Evening Primrose
Her attempts at perineal massage had been frustrating and she’d given up. But I assured her that the capsules were much less labor intensive, and she went ahead and made the trip to the health food store.
After some negotiation around thinking she wouldn’t be able to reach her vagina to insert the capsules, she finally called late one night to triumphantly report that they were in. But she also said they were uncomfortable and stinging her.
Uncomfortable? Stinging? I couldn’t think of any possible reason she could be experiencing anything like this, and it was alarming. Had I told her something wrong? Did she have something awful on her hands when she inserted the capsules? Was she allergic?
So as I’m furiously googling away to make sure there wasn’t an emergency going on inside her vagina, she texts me. ”Ok so I think I’m stupid & figured out the issue. I didn’t have them up far enough but I do now.”
Oh.
She was not the stupid one here. I was the one who knew that vaginal insertion wasn’t her thing, and it should’ve occurred to me to explain the process. Instead I made assumptions and projected my own personal comfort with insertion onto her inappropriately.
So this is me smacking myself on the head and telling the world: inserting Evening Primrose Oil capsules into your vagina is like using a tampon–if you can still feel it, it’s not in far enough.
End embarrassed, apologetic rant.
When I take on a doula client that lives two hours away, I spend a lot of time hoping their labor will be slow enough for me to get there in time to support them. But this particular client happened to be a mountain bike guide in exceptional shape, whose mother’s labor were all under six hours. Uh oh.
Mama called me at 3pm last Sunday to say that her water just broke. She was cheerful & giggly on the phone, and said she’d call me back in a couple hours, or when things started progressing more. After we hung up, as I thought about it more, I realized how insane that plan was–and I got in my car and started driving.
Halfway through the two hour drive, one of her labor companions called to tell me things were really rocking. I could hear Mama in the background making low wails, and I was so glad I was already half way there.
When I walked in the house, 90 minutes after her water broke, she was vomiting. You know you’re a birthworker when the sight of a woman vomiting makes you happy! Transition had arrived, with all its common signs–instantaneous ‘sleep’ between contractions, and statements like “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” and “Is it supposed to hurt this much?” and “I feel like I’m going to tear in half.”
Despite the inherent sense of panic and inevitability that transition can bring, walking into that space in that moment was so perfect. Mama’s contractions were two minutes apart and a minute long, and she was coping well in a candlelit bathroom full of her loved ones and her labor energy.
The plan had been to labor at home as long as possible, and then transport to the hospital two blocks away. The timing of when to transport was a tricky thing–she was clearly progressing quickly, but she was also coping well and not feeling pushy pressure.
A couple of hours were spent between the shower and the toilet, all in a calm, silent home lit only by three tiny candles. Her vocalizations began to shift to higher and higher sounds. As I breathed with her and vocalized a low sound on the out breath, her low sounds began to get a little gruntier with each contraction. Continue reading
Posted in Birth, Birth Stories, Doula
