On a personal level, the Sycamore Center so closely resembles one of my own frequent daydreams–a grassroots community space for folks to learn about and engage in the full spectrum of their reproductive health.  My fantasy is becoming a reality, and even though it’s hundreds of miles away in a city I’ve never been to, I’m psyched to help it grow from afar.

On a support-your-community level, one of the core organizers, Stephanie Dank, is (a) a badass and (b) one seriously energetic mama and reproductive rights advocate, who I trust to make the Sycamore Center everything it can be.

So, based on those two thoughts, I busted out a debit card today and supported their Indiegogo campaign.  I hope you will, too.

Here are some of the down-n-dirty details about the project:

Our goal is to create an inclusive space that offers a wide variety of resources to help empower our community in making choices along the full spectrum of their reproductive health.

Our goal is to create access to resources that support informed consent in every stage of life.

Our ultimate goal is to restore an age-old model of care- one where community family support is rewarded and sustained by that community.

Sycamore Center is founded on these ethics:

• inclusivity
• diversity
• accessibility
• sustainability

We are advocates of:

• peaceful parenting & fearless birth
• healthcare for all
• evidence-based medicine & traditional healing
• sex-positivity

We have some real opportunities to provide education to low-income and minority childbearing families (eventually adapting a program designed by the Nebraska Dept. of Health and Human Services to provide prenatal and postnatal education and advocacy based on the doula model of care).  We are currently expanding on our events to include support groups for fathers and people with postpartum depression, childbirth education classes, women’s health workshops, and more.

We’re starting the campaign to raise enough funds to incorporate with the State of Nebraska as well as file for tax exemption with the IRS (as a 501(c)3).  We’ve met with attorneys from MEEM Consultants for Creative Endeavors and they have generously agreed to donate half of the required services for us to file.

Here’s the breakdown:

• $400 flat fee
• $300 filing fe

It’s been recommended to us that it would be wise to have a bit of a cushion financially, which is why our fundraising goal exceeds our legal fees.  Our goal is to raise enough money to file by January 1, 2013.

In addition to achieving tax exemption, our fundraising goals will help support the growth of our lending library, the purchase of teaching aids, and the ever-present costs of printing materials such as flyers and brochures.

We are completely volunteer driven but are working toward a future in which we can create nonprofit sector jobs for birth workers and other professioals who are dedicated to creating safer and stronger communities.

Please join us.

 

I live in a conservative, dusty, desert town, and I don’t often get to have (real live) conversations with folks who’ve made a commitment to working toward abortion access in their daily lives.  So my Abortion Buddies are really effing important to me. Having reproductive justice allies in my life–whether in person or online–makes my work more effective, and my world better.

You know who you are.  And thanks.

Marlene Bergman measures my fundal height at 38 weeks and 2 days, back in 2008.

But recently, the reality of the homebirth witch hunts hit home.  A midwife that I know, love, and trust is being hung out to dry–and she really didn’t do anything irresponsible.

I’ve known for a while that the wonderful Marlene Bergman, RM, was being investigated by her local hospital in Gunnison, Colorado, two hours from where I live.  But I didn’t know that the investigation had become so serious that her career, her practice, and her family’s livelihood are all at stake.

Marlene was finishing up her direct-entry apprenticeship with my midwife, Bill Dwelley, RM, as I prepared for the birth of my daughter in 2008.  She attended all of my prenatal visits, and helped me believe everything would be ok as early labor set in two weeks before my estimated due date.  And now, four years later, I’m studying under the same midwife who she apprenticed with, and Marlene’s enjoying a successful homebirth practice–and enduring a completely unnecessary and inappropriate investigation of her practice.

When she was caring for me during my pregnancy, Marlene and I felt a sweet little kinship with each other, the kind where you know you would have easily become friends if you didn’t live a couple hundred miles apart and both have extremely demanding lives.  I really, really enjoy Marlene.  And I trust her.

So it breaks my heart to see that her situation with the Gunnison Valley Hospital has become so tense that she’s asking for public financial support to pay for the TWO attorneys that she’s been forced to hire.

I’ll be making a donation to her account today, and sending her a note of support.  Please read her “Open Letter to the Midwifery Community” below, and if you take away from it that she is enduring a terribly unnecessary challenge, then please offer your support, too.

An Open Letter to the Midwifery Community:

My name is Marlene Bergman. I am in my third year of practice as a Registered Midwife in the state of Colorado. I graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Fine Art; I also completed an Associate of Midwifery degree from the Midwives College of Utah. Before becoming licensed I trained for three years under Bill Dwelley, RM, a 30-yearveteran midwife; I have attended over 170 births and am currently an adjunct professor at the Midwives College of Utah. I received my license in January of 2010 and was immediately busy with clients. I am the only Direct-Entry Midwife practicing in the Gunnison Valley; the next closest midwife is 2 hours away.
Unbeknownst to me, the hospital here in Gunnison, CO has been keeping a file on me regarding my clients and transports. In April of 2011 I received a complaint regarding the 5 clients I transported/referred to the Gunnison Valley Hospital dating back to April of 2010. All these transports/referrals were made in accordance with Colorado rules and regulations governing the practice of Direct-Entry Midwifery—moms and babies made it to the hospital in good time and in good health. Complaints from Gunnison Valley Hospital have continued to be filed for any client I have had to transport or refer: every case I bring to that hospital generates a complaint against my license.

The five complaints filed in April 2011 have been investigated by the Colorado Department of Regulatory Agencies and reviewed by two midwives with active practices in Colorado. No wrongdoing was found in either review, however pressure from the hospital required the cases be referred to the Colorado Attorney General’s office for further consideration. I have had to hire two attorneys to represent me—one in Gunnison to defend me against further complaints from Gunnison Valley Hospital and one in Denver to handle the process with the Attorney General.

I believe I am the target of a calculated attack on homebirth midwifery by the Gunnison Valley Hospital and the staff who work there. There are approximately 125 to 130 births per year at that hospital; last year I gave care to nearly 30 clients of my own. It is clear this attack is financially motivated and aimed at limiting the childbirth choices of women in this area. Women have had the right to choose care from homebirth midwives in Colorado since 1993, and if they require a higher level of care during pregnancy, birth or postpartum, they deserve to receive respectful and professional care from the nearest hospital. I take the rules and regulations of the State of Colorado very seriously and I transfer appropriately. The actions of Gunnison Valley Hospital are endangering women and babies in Gunnison and reducing their choices for childbirth.

I am asking for donations and support through this difficult process. I am the primary income earner for my family, paying for legal fees to defend myself in this senseless ordeal has placed a huge strain on all of us. A bank account has been set up for receiving monetary support through the NuVista Credit Union, P.O. Box 1085, Montrose, CO 81402. The account number is 2300-02. Donations can also be made through PayPal by sending to plmlegaldefensefund@gmail.com and will be deposited directly into the NuVista account.

I am told this case is unique to Colorado—nothing like this has happened here before. Your support will mean a great deal not only to me but also to all mothers who choose homebirth and the midwives who practice in this great state. As homebirths become more popular, we may see further efforts by the medical community to shut us down. Being able to successfully defend this case in a court of law will go a long way towards showing the medical establishment that women have the right to choose homebirth and midwives are not simply going to fade away.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any help you can give.

Marlene Bergman, CPM, RM

315 S. Boulevard St. Gunnison, CO 81230

prairielove@gmail.com

Although I was there to joyfully confirm a planned pregnancy and get lined up for Medicaid, nobody else knew that. As far as they were concerned, I may as well have had gonorrhea like the married guy begging for an appointment at the front counter, or been on my way to talk to the RN about abortion options like the nervous lady across the waiting room.

But I've been those folks before (ok not the gonorrhea guy, but definitely the abortion lady). Everybody has been those folks before. And while we all kinda avoid eye contact and hope to be as anonymous as possible during the Sit of Shame, all that psychological pressure is bullshit.

There's no shame in an unintended pregnancy, or in a rogue case of the crabs. Those kinds of things can happen to sexually active folks, no matter how good their intentions are or how sexually responsible they are.

So let's do away with this whole Sit of Shame thing and make the Health Department waiting room a place where we can just acknowledge that shit happens.

And to all the folks I tried to be friendly with this morning: lighten up. I know you're embarrassed to be here, patient. And nurse, maybe working in a family planning clinic isn't a dream job for you like it would be for me. But the fact that we all are here this morning is evidence enough that shit happens.

On New Year’s Eve, I peed on a stick and saw two pink lines.  I then jumped up and down, squeeled a bit, and showed my partner.

His first reaction?  Sex.  I love that man.

His second reaction?  Text messaging the above photo to all of our relatives, calling lots of people, and then posting the photo to Facebook (more on why that’s a bad idea later).

I’ve very literally been emotionally and physiologically high for days since finding out.  I seriously feel a bit intoxicated, and as I’m not drinking these days, I can only imagine that’s from the crazy joyful hormones I’m pumping around.

Emotionally I’m just overwhelmed with a sense of things being right.  And not just in comparison to the other times I’ve found out I was pregnant, which were much less graceful.  I mean ‘a sense of things being right’ in a broader sense.

I can honestly say that finding out about this pregnancy was one of the genuine happiest moments of my life.  And I’m talking happiest moments–akin to the moments I married my partner and birthed our daughter.

Sounds dramatic, I know.  But so much of life involves making concessions, navigating around obstacles, and cutting things close–not this pregnancy.  Everything about it is right, and that’s a rare feeling.

There are more readers than ever before–views increased 720% from 8,600 in 2010 to 62,000 in 2011.

There are more comments than ever before–with some posts garnering 40, 50, 60 comments, there’s some real dialogue going on here.

And I’m just plain-ol’ more excited about it than ever before.  This blog has lasted 2 1/2 years in my over-stuffed life, and it’s not going anywhere any time soon.  In fact, I have significant (and pretty badass) plans for it in this new year.

Anyway, thanks for being here, and here’s to a new year.

I know I’m supposed to wait until 6 stays before my period before asking you to do your job.  And I know today is 8 days before my period.  But would it really be that hard for you to just step up and give me some good news?

I should shut up and stop telling the whole Internet what I peed on today. But you pissed me off.

You and your lonely single pink line suck.

You were a crappy pregnancy test, anyway.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Not-Pregnant-Yet-According-To-You

From an online group about the incident that started it all:

Recently a mama was nursing her babe in a local Houston area Target. When she was asked to move to a private location, she refused, and was harassed and humiliated by three separate employees. She then called Target’s corporate customer service number and was told by a representative, and then her supervisor that they were aware of the laws, but …that just because something is lawful doesn’t mean its acceptable in their store.

Let’s show them just how many mamas they’ve offended. We have a right to shop and meet our babies’ needs while doing so. Public humiliation for doing so will not be tolerated.

These lactivists have called for an international nurse-in event today at Target stores around the globe.  So if you’re near a Target, grab your babe and head on over for a snack.  And if you’re not lactating, grab a doll and pretend.

And it’s not the conception sex–in reality, that’s only been a couple times.

It’s getting home from work to find a gorgeous dinner on the table, with 3 kinds of greens included in the spread.  Why’d he make Brussels sprouts, asparagus AND spinach salad?  Because “greens are supposed to be good for getting pregnant,” according to my incredible partner.

It’s him casually poking my stomach in a prodding kind of way anytime someone mentions baby-having.

I think we’ve done so much griping about how tough parenthood is, that seeing my partner anxious to make a baby is really strange.  And really (really really really really really) awesome.

We never did this part before–the planning a pregnancy, the anticipation of when we’d get pregnant and when the baby would be due.  We did more of the ‘Oh shit!’ routine last time around.  And the ‘Oh shit!’ routine was fine and worked out beautifully, but this time is turning out to be more fun than I expected.

Aside from all of the giddiness that comes along with the idea of a new baby, this experience is also bringing a reminder that we’re great parents and that we make a great couple.

A reminder that parenting is a crazy fun adventure, a ride that we deserve to go on again.

A reminder that our daughter will make one fly big sister.

And reminder that the monotonous grind hasn’t actually devoured our souls (or our relationship) yet.

When I met Ibu Robin Lim last year, she was promoting her new film and selling t-shirts as a fundraiser. Yesterday she was named CNN's 2011 Hero of the Year. I should've bought a t-shirt!

This award isn’t just a gracious nod to all of her hard work.  Rather, it has the potential to move midwifery care forward exponentially, both here in the US, in Bali, and internationally.  It has the potential to skyrocket Ibu Robin and Bumi Sehat’s goals from being ambitious, to being met.

For a few days, everyone who logs onto CNN.com or watches CNN News will know who she is, what she does, and why.  Media consumers will have the concept of gentle birth brought right into their daily lives, whether or not they’re pregnant or involved in mother-baby care at all.

And aside from the massive media attention and the momentum that this could create, there’s also the $300,000 grant that comes along with the award.  That will help, too.

Congratulations to Ibu Robin Lim, the Yayasan Bumi Sehat community, and every family who will ever benefit from this work and this award.

We're ready for #2! Is #2 ready for us?

I know it’s enormously presumptuous, and a huge privilege, to have the health to just decide to make another baby.  And I can’t help but keep thinking we might be jinxing ourselves by expecting it to be so easy.

After all, the conception of our first wee one came only 4 months into our relationship, and after several doses of Plan B along the way.  That was years ago, and the contrast between our lives then and now couldn’t be any starker.  We’re a happy, healthy, crazy-fun family who’s ready to grow by one.

But to think that we could just “conceive a baby in December” discounts the monumental struggle that many families face around fertility and conception.  My sister fought to conceive for 13 years, doing round after round of IVF and hormone treatments, and finally giving up. I watched from the outside how difficult that was for her and her husband, and I’d never want to experience that, or neglect to honor the value of their struggle.

So amidst what appears to be a calm/cool/collected and intentional decision to conceive, I can’t ignore the sense of concern that’s creeping up on me.  Concern about how realistic it is to expect to conceive right away, and concern about sounding pompous with all this “we’re going to conceive this month” business.

Maybe we’ll really have to work for this one, like so many people do.  Or maybe it really will be that easy again.

Here’s a snippet from my article “3 Acres of Food & Family” in the Home Issue of HipMama:

I was one of those folks who fantasized about motherhood, marriage, and creating a home for my family.  Yes, I’m a radical, post-feminist anarchist, but I still wanted a ring and a big pregnant belly.  When I imagined my future, I saw a couple of acres of vegetables, animals, grass, trees, community, kids and a partner.  I saw a sweet little farm and a sweet little family.

But while all this imagining was going on, there was also a lot of living in cars, crashing in warehouses, and scrounging up enough change to buy a can of black beans to eat for dinner.  There was a marriage and a divorce; there was alcohol; there was poverty, and a whole lot of the other things that come along with it.  There were a lot of circumstances, opportunities and choices standing between me and my acres-of-the-perfect-life.

I never sat down and made a plan of how to get from there to here, but somehow, it happened.  A decade into adulthood, I now spend every day amidst a vibrant tapestry of all those things I dreamed about–a ridiculous, redheaded three year old, a herd of goats and a flock of hens, an orchard, an acre garden, and its fabulous farmer, my partner.  Somehow, with very little planning but an enormous amount of intention and work, I got here, to the Circle A Farm.

For the rest of my story, and for loads and loads more inspiring stories from mamas across the spectrum of mama-hood, order a copy of hipMama Zine #50 here.

The Birth Attendants are hiring Direct Service Doulas. This includes 2 hours of weekly collective meetings in Olympia and between 16-24 hours a month of direct service support in the women’s prison in Gig Harbor – on Fridays only.

FOR AN APPLICATION PLEASE EMAIL birthattendants@gmail.com.  APPLICATION DEADLINE MIDNIGHT DECEMBER 2nd ; Interviews will be scheduled on December 9th.

Experience in Reproductive Justice, prisoner advocacy, childbirth education, family planning and as a doula are encouraged yet not required. Drivers License required. Parents are encouraged to apply.

The Birth Attendants is a grassroots collective that aims to support the human rights of reproductive freedom and self-determination for pregnant and post-partum people in prison by providing informational, physical and emotional resources and by creating dialogue and action that critically examines and resists ways the prison system divides our communities.

Why, oh why, do I live in Colorado?  If you’re in the area and feel as compelled by this opportunity as I do, please apply.  And please get the job.  And please, please, please enjoy it enough for me, too.

via Peaceful Parenting

"Water Birth" by Mike Williams via Peaceful Parenting

"P-Section" by ghinson on Flickr

By Mike Williams via Peaceful Parenting

"Pumpkin Home Birth" by Blessed Birth Doula Services

"A Little Pumpkin Carving" by Amy Swagan of The Mandala Journey

Thanks to each of these families and artists for bringing birth to Halloween.  Have you seen other sweet pumpkin birth art?  Drop us a link!

First, yesterday morning, the clothes she wanted to wear were totally inappropriate for the weather and it just wasn’t gonna fly.  So what does she say, with a stern face and a furrowed brow and a twisted glint in her eye?  ”If you don’t let me, I will cry.”  Uhm, does crying usually get you what you want?  Oh, yeah…it does.  Shit.

Then last night her & her Pa were headed outside to feed the chickens, and she didn’t want to walk the whole 15 feet into the kitchen where I was to get her boots.  So she says to her dad, “Watch this,” and proceeds to scream, “Mommmmyyy!!  Bring me my boots!!”

Now, her boots weren’t actually in the kitchen, because (duh) nothing is ever where you think it is when you live with a 3 year old.  But if they had been, I probably would’ve yelled back something like, “Come get them yourself, my love!” and then proceeded to bring them directly to her after a few seconds.

Yeah, mama’s a sucka.

I spend lots of time mulling over my intentions as a parent, and trying to balance those with the harsh realities of everyday life and the emotional attachment I have to the perfect creature that is my daughter.  The way you think things should be isn’t always the way they are, or even the way they can be.  I want to show my daughter that I will always unconditionally be there for any need she ever has, and yet I want her to have boundaries and guidelines that help her navigate this circus of a world.

So last night, in my head, I had one of those Resolving-To-Get-Tough-And-Not-Be-A-Doormat moments.  I considered spending last night having a How-Badly-Am-I-Screwing-My-Kid-Up-Today moment, but really, how’s that going to help?

Instead, she can get her own boots from the kitchen and wear appropriately warm clothes in the fall.  Or she can go to the hen house without boots and freeze her little butt off today at Montessori in shorts and a tanktop.  Either way, Little Mama’s gonna learn that Big Mama loves her very much, but isn’t her bitch.